Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
