He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
