before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
We need to get me chipped asap
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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