69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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