i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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