Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
