Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
im having a threesome with these popsicles
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
bring money and cleavage
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
