Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
