How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
