i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
