i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
