You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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