Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
