that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
This baby is an asshole
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
