i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Randomize
