went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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