So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
