Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
