Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
