He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
