my mouth tastes like poor choices
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
