i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
