Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
