dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
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