It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
