**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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