i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
