if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
