the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
