hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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