If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
My bed smells like the plague
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
