Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
