You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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