We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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