O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
