Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
