OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
