He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
