The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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