I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
