Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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