it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
My vagina is officially offended.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
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