evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
MIDGETS
????
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
