you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
