And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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