I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
