adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
