sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
