Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Randomize
