The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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