At least make sure they are 18
Why
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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