Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
