ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
